Okay, this is going to be a borderline controversial topic but, I’m just presenting the idea of honesty, not trying to preach to anybody.
Alright, now that the legal stuff is out of the way, let’s get started. . .
The essential idea of honesty: To communicate a message to a person in a way that is truthful without antagonizing them.
There is a pervasive idea in the public that honesty is predicated on disregarding how a person feels and just bluntly speak out under the guise of being “real”.
Yes, you can be honest. You can be brutally honest. You can be blunt and to the point. All of that is a part of being honest. However, there is a time and place for being blunt and being personable/agreeable.
What most fail to understand about honesty is that it’s not all “fuck your feelings” all the time. Sometimes that is necessary but most times it isn’t. People have a tendency to take things personally, especially in a one on one setting. Now, if a comedian says something brutally honest like “women are sluts”, people would laugh it off because he’s saying it in the context of a joke. Now, if that same comedian said that in a restaurant for everyone to hear, not many people would be laughing.
The thing about honesty as a quality, concept, and philosophy is that it is intended to convey a message to inspire positive change in one’s life. Sometimes, honesty can be applied delicately, sometimes you need a sledgehammer because the person is hard-headed.
If you go around treating everyone like they’re hard-headed, you might very well get your ass kicked. At he very least you’ll get into heated arguments and confrontations that can lead to an ass kicking.
On the other hand, if you go around treating everyone like a three-year-old, that can come off as condescending and can also lead to you getting your ass kicked. Why? because it comes off as if you’re insulting someone’s intelligence and comprehension skills, and people don’t like being insulted in that way, or at all for that matter.
So, how should one go about being honest? First, be honest with yourself. Nothing changes until you look at yourself and ask some tough questions. Until you sift through all the denial and self-deception and get to the heart of why you are the way you are.
Second, learn how to read people. If someone seems like a stubborn prick, don’t waste your time. If they seem like they’re down for a conversation, then engage. That simple.
Third, learn how to convey your messages without antagonizing people. This is how you avoid getting your ass kicked or having someone trying to ruin your life because you hurt their feelings. Now, this doesn’t mean use big, twenty dollar words to make yourself sound more intelligent because that is a form of condescension (which will get your ass kicked). It simply means communicate with the person based on the type of energy they’re exuding. Example: if someone is cool and calm, you communicate to them in a cool and calm manner. If they’re being an asshole, just walk away. If they’re high energy, high passion, then don’t be afraid to amp up as well.
Most importantly, be true to yourself and don’t give unwanted advice. Let people live the way they want to live. If they want to destroy themselves, let them do it. If they want to elevate, help them any way you can. If they want to do their own thing, let them.
Alright, that’s my spiel. Til next week. . .